Hi! I’m Lara Heacock, and I believe, so strongly, in being kind to yourself.
My Kind Over Matter story began after decades of trying to check all the “right” boxes…
I got the degree (in Psychology) and then an MBA. I got a house and a husband, and I poured my heart and soul into a very successful 11 year career as a professional recruiter and leader.
I was the strong one holding everyone else up, determined to maintain the image that I had everything perfectly under control, and could do it all! I was the good one, the reliable one, the one who had it all together, but I wasn’t happy. There was nothing left for me.
Eventually, I was exhausted. I couldn’t fall asleep at night and had no energy during the day. I felt disconnected, misunderstood and angry…a lot…especially at my husband. Even though I’d cultivated this ‘perfect’ image, I still struggled with how I felt when I looked in the mirror, but I thought it was weak to share any of this. After all, I was the strong one! What would people think?
I was not good at asking for help, and kept hoping that staying busy and having nice stuff would make me feel better.
When I realized that I could no longer get out of bed on time to get to work, and that I was procrastinating everything because I felt insecure & anxious, I knew something had to change. My emotional balloon was about to burst!
I started being kind to & taking care of myself, and everything changed. I was happier, felt balanced and got “me” back! My marriage improved and my stress level went WAY down. I even found the courage to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming an Executive Life Coach. It was the start of a journey that changed my life.
I will never forget sitting in my first day of coaching training and admitting that I was afraid everything was fake and there was nothing underneath.
There was SO MUCH underneath the façade of perfect!
Everyone feels this way, and the courageous choice is to ask for help.
We are just as important as the people we love and serve
It’s pretty fabulous to embrace imperfections, and having support is magically life-changing!
You can’t do it alone either, and you don’t have to.
When I learned to love and take care of myself, everything changed. I found my inner light. I built a foundation of self-kindness and acceptance, and am now better equipped to handle what life throws at me. Through my training, I was able to re-claim my self-worth, self-respect and creativity.
If I can change, so can you!
Since then, I’ve spent hundreds of hours helping others:
Make time for self-care without sacrificing success
Set healthy boundaries and stop overcommitting
Feel fully engaged in life
Better serve the world
Finally feel like they’re enough
Life is short, and you deserve to enjoy yours fully!
THEN: I had no job satisfaction, no ambition and just no lust for life. I knew I had to make a change in my life for me to be really happy. NOW: I am in touch with my inner kid and my adult badass. I love my new job and I know I wouldn't have found it without you directing me through the search process. You understood my situation and helped me get to a place where I not only fit, but where I can grow. So, so, so happy.
- Marina, Director of Training, PA
Lara always knows the right questions in order for you to find the answers you are seeking. After I've hit rock bottom, Lara helped me so much to bring things back in order and I was able to find balance again. Of course there will always be some bumps in the road but this is how we keep learning and growing. What I have learnt from Lara still helps me in my daily life to recognize old patterns or deal with things in a better way.
I have learned to accept myself and my path in life in a whole new way and do what is best for me because ultimately, that is the person I will spend the rest of my life with.
- Kathrin, travel professional, FL
I am no longer afraid to take on a new challenge, either at work or in my personal life; I want to take “smart” risks with new adventures; I want to come home and leave work at work; I make time for ME.
Coaching is more than someone just “telling you what to do to fix a problem”. It is a team. Working through the issues together to find a solution that works with who you are to get to what your goals are that you want to accomplish.
- Jillian, Project Manager, PA
I no longer live ‘on the defensive’ at work. I practice ‘doing the right thing’ daily, based on facts and my expertise. I can keep my calm much more effectively (instead of going into emotional melt down), and I know how to soothe my primitive brain. Giving this part of me a name, learning to hear it and having the option to put it to one side has helped me hugely with my confidence. I feel like an equipped adult capable of playing in adult spaces safely.
I have recognized some of my key attributes and strengths, the properly deep core strengths I possess, not the superficial horoscope type strengths, but those on which my identity is based. This has even encouraged me back to passions and interests I had as a child and teenager that I put aside to focus on ‘academic’ pursuits.
- Nicola, Marketing Professional, UK
The thought of saying no left me feeling guilty, like I let someone down. It wasn't until I started to work with Lara that I found a way say no and work through the emotions that this generated. I learned that it wasn't my responsibility to fix everything. Now that I've had practice, I don't feel guilty for taking care of myself or saying no. I find myself operating from a much calmer, more deliberate, and more authentic center. It turns out, that's actually a much more effective place to help from.
- Cristie, Coach & Mental Health Epidemiologist, North Carolina