When Self-Kindness is Hard

What do you think of when you think about self-kindness? Maybe you think about getting more rest or making time to slow down; maybe you picture the stereotypical self-care image of a candlelit bubble bath (which, by the way, is a totally awesome thing to do for yourself!). Those are all great ways to be kind to yourself, and if you’re reading them and getting that longing feeling, please pick one and make it happen this week!

I’m betting that the things you thought about felt easeful in some way. Fantastic! More often than not, we don’t allow ourselves to do things that bring more ease into our lives, so that’s a great way to start to be kinder to yourself. Those are some of the ways that I started being kinder to myself. When I was feeling super burned out and continuing to add more and more things to my life, many of those things helped get me unstuck.

What about the things that, although they’re hard choices, are still acts of self-kindness? I’m talking about having the difficult conversation with a partner, boss, colleague or loved one; saying “no” to the person who is taking advantage of you; walking away from relationships that don’t feel good. Some of the biggest acts of self-kindness are very difficult to do in the moment, but they’re the right long-term choice.

Next time you come across one of those choices that feels almost impossible in the moment, think about it through the lens of long-term self-kindness. It might not make the action any easier, but it will certainly help you remember the reason why you’re doing it.

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