“Who is your ‘you‘?” I asked her. She had just finished telling me that she loves supporting those closest to her and helping them solve problems, yet she described sharing her own challenges as being a burden to others.
When I asked who she went to for support, the answer was a quiet, “no one.”
Probing a bit more, we discovered that she judged herself very differently than those she loved. When they came to her for support she never considered them weak or felt they were a burden; yet that’s exactly how she described herself for needing support. It was absolutely OK for them but she shouldn’t need it.
Are you walking around with the same double standard and not letting yourself be supported?
Dig into that a bit. Think about the people you love most, and for whom you provide support. Imagine a close friend or family member calling you to talk about a challenging situation. What’s your first thought? Is it a judgment about their weakness or anger at them for burdening you?
I bet it’s not. More likely you feel a deep sense of caring for them. You might even feel honored that they trust you enough to be vulnerable. You’re a part of their inner circle and have earned their trust.
Consider for a moment that they could feel the same about you. Imagine that their first thought when you seek support isn’t that you’re a burden but that they feel honored that you trust them enough to reach out.
I’m betting that the people you love are close to you for a reason…and I bet if you give them a chance, they’ll show you just how much they want to support you the next time you’re knocked down.