Holiday Hacks from Shannon

The Amazon packages have begun arriving in droves. More people are driving that definitely should have had their license taken away years ago. Your diet consists mostly of drive thru. Yep. The holidays have arrived. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am essentially Buddy the Elf (you know… from Elf). We both love Christmas, sugar and singing loud for all to hear. However, I realize that most people dread this time of year. Therefore I have created a list to help you get through the season unscathed.

  1. Adopt the 3:1 Gift Policy:

Buying gifts can often be a chore, especially when you don’t know what you want to get people. I’ve found I enjoy it much more if I buy 3 gifts for others and one for me! It’s like you are your own personal Santa. Feel free to switch up the ratio: 3 for you, 1 for them. I won’t judge.

  1. Target Solves Everything:

Feeling lonely? Go to Target. Don’t have any plans? Go to Target. Just need to get out of the house? Go to Target. Want to say the phrase, “Seriously, how did I spend $50?” Wandering around Target is the time old tradition of single people and moms. Sure this might not be your demographic, but trust us, it’s fun. You never know what you can find! Plus there’s a great chance that candy will be on sale. Pick up a bag, open it up and start munching. Also pick up a few random things you didn’t know you needed.

    1. Channel Your Inner Mystery Science Theater 3000 character or Statler and Waldorf:

Nothing says the holidays like those terrible, terrible movies on the Hallmark Channel, ABC Family Channel and Lifetime. Fun fact – most of them are on Netflix! Find a few, make a bowl of popcorn and make your own commentary track. You’ll feel great. It’s like a soul cleanse.

  1. Don’t Look At Your Bank Account:

Seriously. Don’t do it. Nothing good will come of it.

  1. Take a Picture With Santa:

It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, none of the above… taking a picture with Santa as an adult is gold. It’s a guarantee 100+ “Like” photo on Facebook and really, isn’t that the goal of most of the pictures we take?

  1. White Lies For Your Family:

It’s inevitable that your family will start discussing something you legitimately have no interest in. Want to change the subject but no one wants to discuss the intricacies of how they changed The Hunger Games and your very valid feelings about it? Here’s what you do. Tell them you met a celebrity. Don’t aim too high (ala Kim Kardashian) or shoot too low (anyone you’d have to say, “You know he’s tall, brown hair, on this show…”). When they ask to see a picture, just say they were in a rush and couldn’t take one. Then you look freaking cool and the conversation will probably shift to whatever he or she has done. Win, win.

  1. When In Doubt – Eat Cookies:

This is a solid rule for any time of the year.

Remember, the holidays are a time to celebrate the love in your life. Whether it’s your friends, your family, your pets or your shoe collection – remember to try and enjoy it. Don’t stress. It’s definitely not worth taking years off your life.

 

Happy Holidays!!

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Shannon DeVido is an actress, comedian, singer, and writer. She has performed comedy around the country as a stand up comedian and improv with her longform teams, Hell on Wheels and Axis of Evil, on television (Law and Order: SVU), and Off-Broadway. An accomplished singer, she currently performs with her quirky, singer-songwriting duo, Useful Rooster. Finally, her popular Stare at Shannon, breaks the conventional image of disability through comedy.

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