Fight Fire With Love
I haven't always been the person I am now. I use to be a very ugly person. I don’t have a bright past.
I used to abuse my husband. You did not read that wrong. I said I abused my husband. I know I'm a woman, but it happens, and I was one of those people. It's definitely something I'm not proud of, and I truly wish I could go back and fix all the damage I've done. But I can't. All I can do now is fix myself, forgive myself and move forward.
Something in me would just... snap. We would have a heavy argument or sometimes the argument wasn’t that bad at all. I would reach a point where I would crack and then I would swing, or scratch... pull out wads of hair. Sometimes I wouldn't remember what I did. I was really stressed out; I felt trapped and didn't know what other option there was at the moment.
My husband loves me. Duh right? He's still here obviously he loves me. That's not what I’m getting at here. I'm a tiny woman. I probably didn't damage him that much physically, maybe a couple of cuts and bruises- I mostly damaged him emotionally. When I would loose my head he would first pin me down; never would he hit back. And after he pinned me down... he would hold me. I'd scream and thrash and he would hold me. Not like in a constricting way but in a loving way. He fought fire with love.
I've never had that before. I had a rough childhood. My mom... wasn't as loving as she should have been but I forgive her for that. Along with that she was also very violent towards her significant others as well. That's what I was exposed to. I never knew how it felt to be met with love instead of hostility.
That is a big big reason why I was able to start my transformation. He changed my life. And all he did was hold me.
I understand that everyone may not have the strength to handle situations as my husband did. And that's okay. Everyone makes a change in his or her own way.
There are two points I really want to stress:
1. Fight fire with love. It really can change someone's life.
2. Give people a chance. Not everyone is bad. Sometimes a person on the wrong path just needs someone to show them the way. People CAN change. I know from experience.
I am no longer the person that lashed out so violently when angered. Now I am the person urging my husband and others to have a little more compassion for the people around them. This is all because someone decided to love me the right way.
Loving someone the right way for you may not be taking beatings. I don’t think anyone should take a beating. It may be just saying I love you no matter how harmful the other’s words may be. It may be smiling at someone who is not too fond of you. Apologizing even though you weren't the one who did the wrongdoing.
Find your own way to love the right way. The world needs you to do this. People like me need you to do this.
***I am away on a 10-day meditation retreat. I’m not ignoring your lovely feedback I promise! I just don’t have Internet access at all at the moment. I will be back on the 28th. So much love to all of you!
|Dyamond is a maker of malas, a yogini, and has been called a fierce goddess warrior. She spends her time taking barefoot walks, singing, and finding ways to help make this world a little brighter. Connect with her at her blog Dyamond in the Rough where she shares her heart and strives to help you see the divine within. You can also reach her through twitter and facebook. |