Happy Spring lovelies! We welcomed the first thunderstorm of the season in this morning - what a delightful change! Today I am just blissful to share Daniel Collinsworth from Metta Drum with you, his message here & all the messages he shares on his blog are warm, enlightening & needed. He talks here of living love. I have met quite a few people that live this way. When you are around them you just feel more alive, like a switch gets turned on inside of you -- their inner beauty just heals you, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. It's how I strive to live & hope to teach my children to live. Heaps of love & gratitude for sharing in the Kind Kindred series Daniel! Big Love to all of you, xox, Amanda
Let Your Loving Presence Be a Balm
As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.
Have you ever met someone whose presence seemed to radiate love and healing? Someone may be coming to mind right now, as you read this. I used to think that this sort of wonderful vibe was a personality trait, like being funny or having a good sense of direction – some people just have the gift, others don’t. I, for example, am very thankful for GPS!
However, I’ve come to realize that we all can cultivate this kind of loving, healing energy and allow it to be woven into the fabric of our personalities and our lives. You can be that healing light in the lives of others. The world needs more of this.
Here are a few ways in which you can begin this process:
Let Your Words Win Hearts, Not Arguments
I read these words once, and they have forever impacted me. Do you ever struggle with needing to feel that your point is heard and understood, even at the cost of becoming abrasive or argumentative? This can be a very difficult trait to identify in ourselves, but we can find clues in the mirrors of our relationships. How do you feel when someone disagrees with – or mocks – something you feel strongly about? Is it easy or difficult for you to stay centered when your words go unheard or unheeded, or your feelings unacknowledged?
Realize that the root of this lies within you. Perhaps your need for validation comes from a place of insecurity and pain deep within you. It is OK to acknowledge when you are feeling offended or unheard, but don’t fuel these feelings with stories, assumptions and abrasive words. Instead, create space for them to arise, and let them go. Take this to heart: the words and beliefs of others do not validate or invalidate your own beliefs and feelings. So let your heart be centered and still. When someone begins projecting their own drama in your direction, let your words be soft and gentle. This practice has the ability to change lives.
Listen With Your Presence, Not With Your Words
Have you ever noticed how often we listen to others by constantly remarking and commenting on what they are saying? Even though this usually comes from a sincere desire to show support and validation, it can sometimes have the effect of disrupting the flow and even guiding the conversation into unnecessary territory.
Instead of punctuating another’s words with your own, just listen. Listen with your entire being: your eyes, your heart, your stillness, your awareness. When a silence occurs, let it be. Stay with it. Let the other person stay with it too; this is where the healing occurs – in the space of silence and stillness.
I have found that many people – if not most – are almost uncomfortable with their own silence. In my own experiences, while listening to others and not filling the spaces of their silence with my own commentary, I’ve seen their eyes searching mine for direction on what to say next. But it isn’t my place to give that direction. We simply aren’t used to being truly listened to.
As you stay together in those silent moments, the other person will realize that their words are actually being processed, and this is healing. You may find that people open up to you more in this way. They are working out their own healing process; you are there to create space for it.
This is the most important thing you can do for yourself and for anyone else. Lending inflated emotions and responses to another does them no good. We’ve all had the experience of someone who was so excessively polite or fakely sweet that it felt off-putting. Let authentic kindness and compassion guide your actions and words, not a dramatic overproduction of them. Authenticity is noticed and remembered by others, and it creates a trustworthy presence.
Like all goals in life, cultivating a presence that is loving and healing is a process; it is a journey. It takes place deep inside you and radiates slowly outwards. Understand and remember that this isn’t about being perceived a certain way by others; it is about loving and healing yourself, so that you may be of service to others.
Enjoy the journey.
|Daniel Collinsworth lives in Northern Virginia and is on a journey of self-mastery. He has a blog called Metta Drum where he shares his insights in love, compassion, healing and conscious evolution. You can connect with him on Facebook. |